Maybe it’s the water, or maybe it’s the beer. Whatever. We’ve got two local finalists in the Guinness Win Your Own Pub in Ireland contest. The two stout fans are among 10 U.S. suds-sippers who will make the trip to Newcastle West for a chance to win J. O’Sullivan’s Pub.
Imagine: Competing for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to bounce sodden drunks from your very own bar!
I suppose there are worse jobs – that’s why so many beer-drinkers pour their hearts into this wildly popular essay contest.
Here’s a taste of this year’s winning writings, in which contestants were asked to complete the phrase, “The perfect pint of Guinness is. . .”
(Warning: These essays usually reflect all the textured subtlety of a soggy cocktail napkin.)
Tim Riley, a 30-year-old engineer from Bellmawr, N.J., made it to the last round by comparing a perfect pint of Guinness to “Einstein watching a cartoon. . .classic and completely unconventional.”
Mark Gallagher, a 41-year-old lawyer from Havertown, Delaware County, said a perfect pint is “the blonde with the black skirt. The one that will capture your heart.”
The winner will be chosen this weekend in Ireland, where the finalists are competing in darts, pint-pouring and story-telling.
Now, here’s the kind of high-fallutin’ culture that Joe Sixpack can really appreciate: Theater You Can Drink To. It’s tonight and tomorrow at Mezzo Fico (723 Walnut St., Center City), where Gravy Theater presents a pair of live plays. The lively arts are even livelier with the theater’s one-of-a-kind BYO policy. That’s right – bring your own beer. Just don’t roll the bottles down the aisle. Tickets are 7 bucks. Info: 215-849-4456. . .O’Neal’s (611 S. 3rd St., South Street area) is getting into the tasting thing with a handful of powerful spring and summer ales. On Thursday, the pub – which boasts one of the best tap selections on that side of town – will be pouring two newcomers from Belgium’s La Chouffe: Biere de Mars and Biere de Soliel.
News item: Miller Brewing donates 12,000 “40s” to tornado victims in Moore, Okla. True, they were filled with drinking water. But thirsty recipients reportedly could not tell the difference from Miller Lite.