1. Perkuno’s Hammer is in the cooler. This hard-to-find Baltic-style porter from South Jersey’s Heavyweight Brewing is a sign the store’s micro list is deep. And, bonus, it’ll paralyze a Coors drinker on contact. 4 points.
2. The fluorescent lights inside the cooler are protected with UV filters, to help prevent skunky off-tastes. Look for the Beer Philadelphia sticker. 4 points.
3. Discounts for mixed six-packs. 2 points.
4. No Poor Henry’s or Ugly Dog in the cooler. Both of these locals went out of business ages ago; a leftover bottle of either makes you wonder what else is stale. 2 points.
5. Harp and Molson are kept 10 feet away from the high-end imports. 2 points.
6. Yuengling is less than $5 a six-pack. 1 point.
7. The clerks try to talk you out of buying Mike’s Hard Lemonade. 2 points.
8. Credit cards accepted. 1 point.
9. There’s something other than Hoegaarden to replace Celis White. 2 points.
10. When you ask, “What kind of beer do you have,” no one says, “Everything.” 5 points.
How does your store score?
0-5 points – Would you like a bag for that 40?
6-10 points – Tequizaville.
11-20 points – When you ask for Flying Fish, they won’t say “Huh?”
20-25 points – Find that missing ’92 bottle for your collection of Thomas Hardy’s vintage age.
The Foodery isn’t the only place to score a great bottle to go.
Where to find the single hard-to-find bottles:
* Wurst House (43rd Street and Baltimore Avenue, West Philadelphia). Pizza joint with excellent micros. Humboldt Oatmeal Stout, $1.76/12 oz. bottle.
* TheSixpack Store (7015 Roosevelt Blvd., Northeast). Decent micros, obscure Eastern European lagers.
* Terry’s Delicatessen (2016 Darby Road, Havertown). Joe Sixpack grew up on Mrs. Terry’s hoagies and imports from more than 30 countries.
* Ashton Market (Springton and Marshall roads, Upper Darby). Making a comeback after change in ownership. Fuller’s 1845 Ale, $2.99/16 oz. bottle.
* Food Tek (24 S. 2nd St., Old City). Stock is falling.
* Kitchen USA (1933 Spruce St., Center City). Not a huge selection, but some surprises and cigars.
* Epicurean Restaurant and Bar (902 Village at Eland, Route 113, Phoenixville). The fine restaurant has an adjoining takeout shop featuring more than 300 beers.
* Landis Restaurant (118 W. Lancaster Ave., Wayne). More than 150 beers, plus cigars.
* Michael’s Deli (Valley Forge Shopping Center, King of Prussia). Best in the ‘burbs.
* Civeres (State Road and Lansdowne Ave., Clifton Heights).
* Trenton Road Take out (1024 Trenton Road, Fallsington).
* State Line Liquors (1610 Elkton Road, Elkton, Md.). Worth the trip, just off I-95.
* Voorhees Liquors (10 Berlin Road, Voorhees, N.J.). Still the best on the other side of the bridge.