TIME AND TIDES change everything down the shore. The beach, the towns, the people – they grow, they die.

It’s as inevitable as the waves, as sad as a seagull’s cry.

The end of the Summer of ’05 brings yet another change: Maloney’s Tavern on Washington Avenue in Margate will close forever. They’ll throw a farewell bash on Labor Day.

It was a classic shore bar. A boozy, jammed-packed joint where you cooled off with Solarcaine and Budweiser, where the shoobies danced, the DJs cranked up the noise and you met your summer love. You recognized half the crowd from your neighborhood back home. You might even have spotted a local celeb; ex-crime boss Joey Merlino used to hang out there, even got himself arrested once for leaving the bar with an open beer.

And, perhaps most notably, it was the starting point for Maloney’s Bike-a-Thon, a beer-fueled ride each September that stopped at nearly every bar between Margate and Wildwood. Over 29 years, according to Maloney’s owner George Naame, it raised $2 million for local charities.

Old-timers say there’s been a bar at the location, a block off the beach in the shadow of Lucy the Elephant, since 1908, changing names year after year. In 1956, a whiskey salesman from Darby named Jack Maloney bought it, and the name stuck.

Like most shore bars, Maloney’s ran on beer and rock ‘n’ roll, though it was never quite as rowdy as the clubs down on Amherst Avenue. There, on Margate’s so-called Barbary Coast, places like Gable’s, Maynard’s and the Elbow Room (now Jerry Blavat’s Memories) rocked all summer with the raucous sounds of the Soul Survivors, Billy Harner and the legendary Cookie Jar & the Crumbs.

Naame, who ran the Elbow Room, remembers the music like it’s still on his jukebox. “I loved it, the afternoon matinees. But rock ‘n’ roll was a tough business,” said Naame (rhymes with mommy). “The bands were hard to handle. “

So, longing for something slightly less crazy, Naame purchased Maloney’s in 1970. He never bothered to change the name, explaining, “I thought Maloney’s sounded a lot better than Naame’s, especially for an Irish bar.”

Under Naame’s ownership, Maloney’s grew into a rambling collection of two dining rooms and five bars, including an outdoor patio.

When he walks you around his place, he can’t help but point out the furnishings; there’s a story behind almost everything.

“We built that cooler over here. It holds 700 cases of beer,” Naame says, pulling open the heavy door.

The glass ceiling in the dining room, he said, was pulled from the Mexican Pavilion at the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. The shelves are from the pharmacy at Atlantic City’s Haddon Hall, the bar trim was pulled from the old Longport Inn, the dome lights upstairs are from the Breakers Hotel, the solid oak tables are from the Vienna Restaurant on the Boardwalk. “Bought ’em for $23 apiece,” he said.

“I doubt I’ll keep very much of this stuff,” he said. “I don’t want to be too sentimental. “

Indeed, as with any decent bar, it’s not the bricks and mortar, it’s the people who made Maloney’s.

As word spread this summer that the bar would close for good, reg’lars from the ’60s, the ’70s and later began streaming in for one last visit and a souvenir T-shirt. “We’ve got people as far away as Alaska coming back for the closing,” Naame said. “Every day, you look out in the bar, and you’ll see old-timers hugging and kissing each other when they recognize each other.

“That’s the gratifying part of the whole business. “

And it’s not just the customers. Over the years, Maloney’s was a reliable place for a summer job for hundreds of waitresses, line cooks, busboys and bartenders. “I probably hired over 1,000 young people over the years,” Naame said. “I got kids working for me, their parents worked for me, too. “

Lately, though, Maloney’s had grown quiet. Margate’s old three-bedroom houses – the ones that held a dozen jam-packed roomies – have been ripped down and replaced with sparse, million-dollar mansions. Their wealthy occupants – many of whom visit the island only a couple of times each year – aren’t the types to belly up in a smoky bar.

Maloney’s will be torn down to make way for luxury townhouses.

“You could see the handwriting on the wall,” Naame said. “This place was starting to go down a little bit. I went as far as I can go. “

On a wall, there’s a photo of him and his pal, John McKnight, bare-chested and pulling hard on the oars as they race to the 1958 Atlantic City doubles rowing championship. Today at 72, Naame looks only a bit softer;

he’ll keep active with two other bars, Uptown Maloney’s (Tennessee Avenue and the beach block, Atlantic City) and Maloney’s Pitney Tavern (200 S. Pitney Road, Absecon).

But this bar in Margate is a goner.

Some years ago, customers began a tradition at Maloney’s, sticking peeled beer labels to the bar’s low ceiling. Thousands of them – Rolling Rock, Bud Light, Miller – stuck up on the ceiling.

Each one is a memory, faded like a ghost. The shore changes, but memories survive, even after Maloney’s last call.

Beer radar

Just one look in the curbside recycling bins tells you there’s no shortage of beer at the shore. Mostly it’s Lite and Corona; good beer, unfortunately, is hard to find. Just down the street from Maloney’s is the Wine Cove (11 N. Washington Ave., Margate) a takeout store that, despite its grapey name, stocks an unusual selection of large bottles of Belgians, Germans and American micros. On the Mainland, Circle Liquors (1 MacArthur Circle, Somers Point) is a convenient spot before heading into the dry O.C. I found Heavyweight’s extraordinary Black Saison there a couple of weeks ago. In Atlantic City, Firewaters (Tropicana ground floor, just off the Boardwalk) boasts 50 taps and 100 very good bottles. Though Tun Tavern (Michigan Avenue, at the Sher-aton Hotel) is capable of producing an occasional well-made pint, sadly it mostly serves dumbed-down versions of routine (read: golden, red & brown) ales . . .

Good news down at the Linc, and I’m not talking about the return of T.O. After ignoring my gripes and those of other craftbrew fans for the past three years, the Eagles have finally relented and are now pouring locally made beer. According to early reports from my beer-drinking buddies, bottles of Yards, Victory and Flying Fish are now available in the stands . . .

Pennsylvania takes yet another step out of the alcohol Stone Age this weekend. For the first time since the Prohibition, beer distributors may open on Sundays, from noon to 5 p.m. . . .

Calendar

Sept. 13 – The Greatest Beers of the World, beer fest at Village Hall (Spread Eagle Shopping Center, Wayne). The charity event, with beers from Magic Hat, Stoudt’s Sierra Nevada, Duvel and others, features keynote speaker Fritz Maytag of Anchor Brewing. Tix: $100, benefits American Red Cross. Beer pours: 5:30-9:30 p.m. Info: 215-299-4022.

Sept. 13 – St. Feullien beer dinner at Monk’s Cafe (16th and Spruce streets, Center City). One of Belgium’s few female brewery owners, Dominique Friart, brings a supply of her traditional ales. Tix: $65. Dinner served: 7:30 p.m. Info: 215-545-7005. *

Joe Sixpack, by staff writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of New Holland Paleooza.

HAVING turned its product into tasteless industrial swill, the Miller Brewing Co. must now face the cold, hard facts:

Miller Genuine Draftis not “genuine,” it’s not “draft.” It’s not even beer.

And that’s not just the opinion of Joe Sixpack. In a stunning decision issued last week, a county judge in Reading, Pa., declared that Miller isn’t – at least, legally – a true beer.

Judge Jeffrey K. Sprecher didn’t say what Miller is, though I certainly could ‘ve provided him with a few adjectives for the brewery’s fizzy yellow water. Instead, he ruled that the prosecution in an underage drinking trial hadn’t provided adequate evidence that MGD is, in fact, beer.

As you might imagine, there were some legal technicalities at work in this case, first reported by the Reading Eagle.

It centers on a 44-year-old Kutztown man named Gregg R. Hartman who’s accused of buying a case of Miller for his 17-year-old neighbor. The kid downed five cans, got caught by the cops and dimed out the old man. Now, the Berks County D.A.’s office is prosecuting Hartman for furnishing alcohol to a minor.

It seemed like an open-and-shut case after the teen testified against Hartman. But then Sprecher tossed it out of court, ruling the D.A.’s office had failed to submit evidence – empty cans or lab tests – to support its prosecution.

Defense attorney David R. Eshelman told reporter Holly Herman that “there is no testimony on the record that the beer contained any alcohol.”

For the record, Miller Genuine Draft contains about 5 percent alcohol by volume. The prosecutor has already filed a motion to reconsider the case, this time including the state Liquor Control Board’s list of licensed malt beverages.

Sprecher isn’t publicly explaining his ruling because it’s still an active case. But I like to think there was more here than legal technicalities.

What I imagine is that Sprecher actually sampled the so-called evidence and, in his judicial wisdom, concluded that even the Miller Brewing Co. had failed to establish a prima facie case that its industrial swill is bona fide beer.

Indeed, that’s the assumption thousands of other beer lovers made when word of the ruling hit the Internet.

After Herman’s story was linked at Fark.com, the newspaper’s Web site recorded more than 15,000 hits from readers, many of them gleefully agreeing with Sprecher.

“I dare anyone to sample a Genuine Draft and then a Samuel Smith Aleand still claim a beer is a beer,” one visitor to Herman’s court blog wrote.

“This is truly a momentous court decision,” wrote one reader at BeerAdvocate.com, where Miller Genuine Draft gets an “Avoid” rating of 67 (out of 100). Another advocate said of Sprecher, “Now, this is a Supreme Court nominee.”

And blogger named The Countess echoed many calling for a blanket ruling: “I’d even go as far as to say that Coors Lightand Bud Lightaren’t really beer. They ‘re pisswater.”

Lest Judge Sprecher be accused of improper judicial activism, allow me to argue that this is a long-overdue court ruling. Miller is finally facing the gavel for decades of criminal assault on American taste buds.

The evidence: Miller Lite… Icehouse… the bastardization of Lowenbrau… Red Dog… Miller Clear… Skyy Blue… Brutal Jack Daniels Hard Cola… the phony Plank Road Brewery…

Beer freaks rejoice: The days of factory breweries calling their mass-produced malt byproduct a “beer” are coming to an end. And now we’ve got the law on our side.

Beer radar

Downingtown’s Victory HopDevilplaced third among American draft beers earlier this month at the Great British Beer Festival. Rogue Chocolate Stoutand Smuttynose Shoal’s Pale Alewent one-two…

From the When Will They Every Learn Dept.: Anheuser-Busch, still unable to understand why its beer sales are drooping like Barry Bonds without steroids, is launching yet another boneheaded malt beverage. Tilt, containing caffeine, guarana and ginseng, is advertised as the “5 p.m. after-work drink… suited to a variety of drinking occasions.” Right, like that drinking occasion when you were 14 and puking up your guts after consuming your mother’s cooking wine. Oh, and while I’m ranting, I’m curious how A-B managed to get that tipsy brand name past the federal government’s humorless alky authorities…

Oktoberfest, despite its name, is already gearing up, and it’s not even Labor Day. McGillin’s Old Ale House (1310 Drury St., Center City) kicks things off starting Monday, when the tavern adds German food and a selection of Oktoberfest beers to its menu. Meanwhile at your local distributor, Oktoberfest beers are pushing aside the summer’s hefeweizens. Already seen: Victory Festbier, Stoudt’s Fest, Flying Fish Oktoberfish, Samuel Adams Oktoberfestand German-made versions from Paulanerand Hacker-Pschoor.

Also new on area shelves: Sierra Nevada Crystal Wheat, Brasserie Fantome Bris BonsBonsand Kapuziner Schwarts Weizen.

Hear, hear

 “If our troops are going to die by being blown up by a car bomb, at least let them have a beer first.” – Ex-State Rep. Ronald P. Goebel, in the Pittsburgh Tribune Review, urging lawmakers to lower the drinking age for members of the military.

Calendar

Tomorrow: Grand opening, Destiny Brewpub (119 South Main St., Phoenixville). The former steel town gets its second brewpub, this one in a former Moose Lodge in the center of town. Info: 610-781-4303.

Thursday: Yards Brewing and BBQ at Coleman Restaurant at Normandy Farm (Route 202 & Morris Road, Blue Bell), with a guest appearance by yours truly. The Kensington brewery matches its Saison, Philadelphia Pale Aleand George  Washington Porterwith a spread by celebrity chef Jim Coleman and finger-licking commentary by Joe Sixpack. Tix: $24.95. Dinner served: 6:30-9 p.m. Info: 215-616-8300.

Aug. 27: Brewing Exposition And Talent Show at World Cafe Live (3025 Walnut St., University City). Local performers and brewers hook up for an afternoon of blues and brews. Taps open: noon-5 p.m. Tix: $28/$33 at the door. Benefits Ann Hsu Memorial Fund. Info: 215-222-1400.

 Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of Heavyweight black Saison.

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IN HEAT like this, there’s nothing better than an ice cold beer – a crisp, tonsil-chilling, sweat-erasing lager served in a frosty mug.

There’s nothing better unless, of course, you actually prefer to taste your beer. Excessive cold deadens the taste buds and masks much of a good beer’s flavor.

And therein lies the great dichotomy of our favorite adult beverage: Do we drink it for refreshment or flavor?

The conflict is never more pronounced than during a Philadelphia heat wave, when bartenders from Eastwick to Bustleton Avenue turn down the thermostats to near-freezing levels and promise “the coldest beer in town!”

I suppose we should thank them for the humanitarian gesture. Except they’re practically ruining many of their beers, namely ales. These brews, with their subtle malt flavors and fruity ester aromas, damn near die of frostbite.

According to Martin Schuster, president of the Draught Beer Guild, the optimal temperature for most industrial lagers is 38 degrees. “The main reason is, for most lagers, that’s the best temperature range for releasing the most bouquet and flavor… But when you get into serving ales, the temperature range should slide up from there” toward 50 degrees.

“The problem is,” Schuster said, “when you get into the 42-degree range for Bud, Miller, Coorsand a lot of other lagers, the beer doesn’t present itself as well.”

Meanwhile, the flavor of ale – especially hoppy varieties balanced with subtle malts and fermented with ester-producing yeasts – is suppressed at cooler temps.

If you don’t believe it, try knocking down the remains of a 16-ounce can of Milwaukee’s Bestthat’s been sitting around for more than a half-hour. The bouquet is rather like the bottom of your hamper.

Likewise, the flavor of a hearty beer, like Victory Storm King Imperial Stout , is virtually absent under 40 degrees. Let it sit in a glass for even as long as an hour, though, and it explodes with a huge range of roasted, fruity flavors and aromas.

Bruce Bryant, a senior research associate at University City’s Monell Chemical Senses Center, said there’s some basic chemistry at work here.

“When the temperature goes down,” Bryant said, “the flavor is actually decreased because the chemical compounds that give beer its flavor are less volatile at low temperatures… It really makes for a less-flavorful beer.”

At warmer temps, he said, these volatile compounds evaporate and enter the nose through the back of the mouth. That’s where most flavor is detected.

Since a bar would need separate cooling systems to serve ales and lagers at their proper temperatures, guess who loses this battle. Ale-lovers just have to ask for unfrosted glasses and wait for their beers to warm up.

Except, the problem is getting worse.

Lately, big beer-makers have launched a cold war.

Coors Light, notably, urges us to “Taste the cold.” Millerreplies that it’s beer is “cold-filtered.”

Meanwhile, in Canada, Labattis marketing the Cold One, a new insulated beer can designed to slow down heat transfer from your hand. And Molsonthis year introduced its new Sub Zero beer-dispensing tower that serves beer at -2 centigrade. (That’s 28 degrees Fahrenheit, or about 5 degrees warmer than the freezing temperature of most beer.)

Even Guinness Stout, a beer that most experts say should be enjoyed in the high 40s, has dropped its suggested serving temp to 43.

Some skeptics believe the colder temps allow brewers to use cheaper, less flavorful ingredients and adjuncts like rice and corn.

Perhaps, but more importantly the chilling effect is plainly designed to mask bitter flavors that many drinkers – especially younger ones weaned on Coke – just don’t enjoy.

At 32 degrees, Bryant said, beer is cold enough to temporarily shut down the nerves in your tongue, where you’d normally detect bitterness. “It’s essentially anesthetizing your mouth,” Bryant said.

Those who actually savor the complex flavor of a well-made ale may cry heresy. But as Schuster noted, “American beer drinkers are conditioned to colder beer, and that seems to be more important to most customers than how those beers should taste.”

You really can’t blame bartenders for turning down the thermostat. “If you want to sell beer on the beach in August,” Schuster said, “you better be selling darn cold beer.”

How cold should you go?

In the Czech film “My Sweet Little Village,” one character found the optimal temperature on the seventh step down to the cellar.

More specifically, here are the serving temps recommended by brewers:

• Carling Extra Cold, 36.
• Heineken, 38.
• Hoegaarden, 39.
• Budweiser, 40.
• Barney Flats Oatmeal Stout, 40-45.
• Guinness, 43.
• Troegs Mad Elf, 45.
• Lindemans Framboise, 45.
• Allagash Grand Cru, 45-55.
• Weyerbacher Insanity, 45-50.
• Unibroue La Terrible, 52.
• Orval, 55
• Pike Pale Ale, 55
• Samuel Smith Taddy Porter, 55
• Three Philosophers, 50-60

Beer radar

Remember the Samuel Adams’ Beer Drinker’s Bill of Rights I mentioned here last time around? The Boston brewery is facing heat over its declaration that beer should be served in bottles. Oskar Blues Brewery, whose Dale’s Pale Aleis canned, says it’s a myth that cans impart a metallic flavor…

Meanwhile on the topic of proper serving temps, the same Bill of Rights decreed that “beer should be served at 35 degrees to 42 degrees for maximum flavor.” At those temps, Samuel Adams’ own $100-a-bottle Utopias would taste like a $1.75 forty of Colt .45…

The Tippler’s Tour is up and running again this summer on Thursday afternoons. It’s a 90-minute, beer-enhanced walk around Old City’s Colonial drinking spots. Call 215-629-5801 for details…

Congrats to Iron Hill brewpub for its decisive win at the Royal Stumble, the annual beer showdown at Nodding Head Brewery. This year’s event featured brewers dressed as comic book heroes pouring mass quantities of craft beers. Iron Hill  Belgian Witwas the first keg to kick…

Destiny Brewing, a new brewpub in Phoenixville, is set to open officially on Aug. 20 in the home of a former Moose lodge that was conveniently outfitted with a bomb shelter…

Minnesota’s Summit Brewing is sending its beers the Philly way. In addition to its well-regarded Great Northern Porter, look for its pilsner, hefeweizen, pale ale and extra pale ale in stubby bottles. Also new on area shelves: Brok  beerfrom Poland, Middle Ages 10th Anniversary Aleand Legacy Hedonism Alefrom Reading.

Beer calendar

Thursday: Beer and cheese dinner at General Lafayette Inn & Brewery (6461 Germantown Pike, Lafayette Hill). An eight-course dinner matching artisanal cheese and craft beer. 7 p.m., $64.95, 610-941-060l.

Thursday: Victory Brewing beer and BBQ at Coleman Restaurant (Normandy Farms, Route 202 and Morris Road, Blue Bell). 6:30 p.m., $24.95, 215-616-8500.

July 29 and 30: Summer brews dinner at the Farmhouse (1449 Chestnut St., Emmaus). John Hansell, editor of the Malt Advocate, hosts the event, pairing a five-course seasonal menu with a variety of beers. 7 p.m., $75, 610-967-6225.

 Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a glass of Hacker Pschorr Alt.

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THE MAKERS of Samuel Adams beer came to town last week to kick off the Fourth of July weekend with the introduction of their so-called Beer Drinker’s Bill of Rights.

It’s a frothy little P.R. document that declares the “self-evident” truth that, among other things, beer should be served in brown bottles.

I have to give brewery chief Jim Koch some credit. Just five months after the Patriots abused the Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX, it took a lot of nerve for a Bostonian to show his face in Philadelphia, much less teach us about liberty and beer.

(Believe me, I had already consulted the Tar and Feathering Committee about Koch’s appearance.)

But the fact is, it’s not the first time Samuel Adams led Philadelphia on a revolutionary course toward liberty – a course that was fueled by beer.

I refer to the Charming Polly boycott of 1769, a mostly forgotten but important act of rebellion that pre-dated the Boston Tea Party by four years and helped lay the groundwork for the American Revolution – all thanks to the original Samuel Adams and Philadelphia’s Colonial brewers.

They don’t teach this story in school (or the corner bar, for that matter), so in the spirit of the recent holiday, I thought I’d share it here.

By the mid-18th century, Philadelphia – with a population of more than 25,000 – was the most prosperous port in the Colonies. Even in the face of heavy British taxes that upset other cities like Boston, its merchants remained neutral, making a nice living off imports. The city was so reluctant to protest the crown, New Yorkers referred to Philadelphia traders as “selfish, dastardly merchants.”

It was a Boston brewer named Samuel Adams who gave Philadelphia a boot toward independence, in 1768.

It came in the form of a so-called circular letter – a protest of the Townsend duties written by Adams and circulated through the Colonies from Boston to New York; Princeton, N.J.; Philadelphia; Baltimore; and south.

Its theme was elegant: No Taxation without Representation.

Prompted by Adams, merchants formed committees and took oaths swearing to boycott British goods. The protest spread to Philadelphia where, in February and March of 1769, merchants signed two non-importation resolutions. Those who violated the ban were embarrassed in print.

The first test of the Colonies’ resolve came on July 17, 1769.

That Monday, according to a report in the Pennsylvania Gazette, a vessel from Yarmouth, England, anchored on the Delaware.

The Charming Polly.

Its cargo: tons of malted barley, for brewing beer, addressed to a well-known merchant named Amos Strettell.

Enraged, a committee of merchants convened and sent for Strettell, who a ran a store at Front and Chestnut. At 4 p.m. the next day, Strettell and the Charming Polly’s master, Capt. James Henderson, were hauled before a meeting at the State House.

We may never know Strettell’s true role in this episode, but – faced with a group of angry citizens – he quickly denied any knowledge of the shipment. The shipper, named Christopher Eaton, was a stranger to him, he said.

Then a committee of the city’s brewers showed up at the State House, triumphantly waving a signed agreement promising that “they will not purchase any Part of it; nor will they brew the Same, or any Part thereof, for any Person whatever… ”

We can imagine this group – men like Joseph Potts, who ran a malt house at 5th and Market – swearing that they’d go broke before brewing a drop of British ale. These brewers didn’t know it at the time, but their protest would be a fundamental step – a personal sacrifice – toward building a new nation.

“This Agreement being read,” the Gazette continued, “was received with universal Applause.”

The merchants issued another proclamation warning that anyone who tried to buy or sell the malt would be considered “as a person who has not a just Sense of Liberty, and as an Enemy to his Country.”

They gave Capt. Henderson a week to leave town.

Word of the city’s non-importation vow spread. George Washington is said to have received a copy of the resolutions and forwarded them to George Mason, urging the formation of a similar protest in Virginia.

Over the coming months, trade between England and the Colonies was cut in half. In Philadelphia alone, it dropped 70 percent.

The anti-British protests grew. In 1770 came the Boston Massacre. The British backed down on some taxes and the Philadelphia boycott ended, but the course was set. In 1773, Adams took things a step further as three British ships – the Dartmouth, the Eleanor and the Beaver – sat in Boston Harbor, laden with British tea.

You know the rest of the story.

It makes you wonder. Maybe, if our Colonial brewers had dumped the Charming Polly’scargo into the Delaware in 1769, this month we’d be toasting the 236th anniversary of the Philadelphia Beer Party.

And the words of Samuel Adams would ring forever:

No Fermentation without Representation!

Sources: The Pennsylvania Gazette; Pennsylvania Magazine of History and Biography; the Pennsylvania Journal and Weekly Advertiser; “Brewed in America,” (Baron); the papers of George Washington (University of Virginia). Special thanks to Charles B. Greifenstein, manuscripts librarian, American Philosophical Society, and Rich Wagner, Pennsylvania brewery historian.

 Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale.

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ONE OF THE world’s greatest breweries never spends a dime on advertising.

It prints up beer coasters and puts its label on glassware. But there are no glossy magazine ads, no billboards, no jingles. And you certainly will never see white-haired Trappist monks from Notre-Dame de Saint-Remy monastery near Rochefort, Belgium, cavorting with buxom starlets in a beer commercial during halftime at the Super Bowl.

“You don’t tell the world you have the world’s best beer,” says Alfons Vandermolen, the man now responsible for sending Rochefort 10 to America. “It’s up to other people to tell you that you’re the best. “

And plenty do.

Beer writer Michael Jackson says it’s one of his favorites. Men’s Journal lists it as one the 50 best beers in the world in its July edition. And the highly critical sippers at BeerAdvocate .Com and RateBeer.Com both place it in their top 10.

Beneath this word-of-mouth marketing approach lies a complex distribution system that ensures only scant supplies make it across the Atlantic, at a steep cost.

Made by Trappist monks and lay workers at a religious site dating to the 13th century, the beer is the Holy Grail of Suds. Mysterious and heavenly, it’s passed down to believers through an odd network of chosen importers and blessed middlemen in a kind of arcane procedure that Dan Brown might be describing in his next best seller.

The monastery has no direct exporting deal with any American suppliers. For years, anyone who wanted to bring it across the Atlantic had to purchase it at a Belgian beer distributor, just like any other customer. (That’s a snap compared to the difficulty of getting your hands on another favorite from a competing Trappist monastery, St. Sixtus. There, the monks dole out their Westvleteren beer, three cases at a time, to individuals who line up at a window. )

Though the monastery has room to brew far more, it limits production of Rochefort 10 and its other two brands, known as 8 and 6, to fewer than 15,000 barrels a year – about the same as Kensington’s tiny Yards Brewing Co.

Vandermolen, a Belgian beer distributor who serves as Rochefort’s export manager, said the distribution arrangement is “because the monks don’t want to be involved with the hard business . . . They don’t want to be present all over the world, just the best places. “

Others note the controls guarantee high prices.

Indeed, Rochefort 10 is such a rare beer in America, some bar owners refuse to sell it to anyone but their best customers. Only those living near big cities have a shot at tasting this dark, brown Belgian ale. Some states actually ban it because its 11.3 percent alcohol is way over their legal limit.

Maybe you’ll find it at a high-end beer distributor, but be prepared to lay out $150 or more for a case. In Center City, you can get a taste at the Foodery, where a single 330ml bottle runs $8.95.

All of that could change starting next month.

Merchant du Vin, the Seattle specialty beer importer that already handles U.S. sales of two other Trappist beers, Westmalle and Orval, this week announced a new deal that it says gives it exclusive rights to Rochefort in America. The firm will import Rochefort through an arrangement with Vandermolen’s company.

It’s not making any promises, but the company says prices might drop and supplies should increase.

No, you won’t see any TV commercials with Brother Pierre, the monastic brewer. “We do have a new metal sign” for barroom walls, said Craig Hartinger of Merchant du Vin. “But it’s such a strong product by itself, it doesn’t need its logo on a NASCAR racer. “

Not surprisingly, the Rochefort deal has an element of intrigue.

The label’s previous importer, D&V International, believes it may still hold a number of rights to Rochefort. It was the company’s owner, Darius Debski, who first cracked the Rochefort network in the late 1990s, establishing an exclusive deal with one of the monastery’s favored distributors to sell the beer in America. (At least one other company, Shelton Brothers of Massachusetts, has also imported Rochefort over the years, but Debski says he has a copy of a letter from the monks blessing his arrangement. )

“I went to all the trouble because nobody else was importing it at the time,” Debski said. He created a “back” label to carry the required U.S. government warnings, and he registered the beer for sale in several states, including Pennsylvania.

Though that registration may continue to give him the right to sell Rochefort here, Debski said he has no intention of making business difficult for Merchant du Vin.

Meanwhile, however, the state’s biggest Rochefort wholesaler – Shangy’s of Emmaus, Pa. – says it wants to continue to buy from Debski.

“Darius is a little guy who works his ass off. Rochefort was never available in America before Darius,” said Nima Hadian of Shangy’s. “I’m not going to stab him. “

So, just before Merchant du Vin cut its deal with the monastery, Hadian said, Shangy’s bought $100,000 worth of Rochefort – about 1,200 cases. “I have enough for about a year,” he said.

As for Debski, he said, “I’m basically stuck with a bunch of cartons and labels, and I can’t use them anymore. I feel hurt, but I have no desire to fight. “

Someone buy this man a Rochefort 10.

Beer radar

Will Smith, Jay-Z and a bunch of thirsty roadies will be sucking down HopDevil, Prima Pils and other favorites from Downingtown’s Victory Brewing at Live 8 next week. Brewery chief Bill Covaleski says the brewery was selected by the backstage caterer as the sole beer provider.

McGillin’s Olde Ale House, celebrating its 145th anniversary this summer, is sponsoring a Kegs & Eggs tour to the Yuengling brewery, hosted by local beer author Lew Bryson. The pub (1310 Drury St., Center City) is giving away raffle tix; 25 winners will be treated to a daylong tour with lunch and drinks on Aug. 6.

Speaking of McGillin’s, the city’s oldest bar is still boycotting Guinness. Owner Chris Mullins, among other local barkeeps, objects to the brewery’s relationship with the Fado Irish bar chain. To keep stout fans happy, he’s now pouring O’Reilly’s Stout from Sly Fox, the brewpub in Phoenixville and Royersford.

Calendar

Tomorrow: Garden State Craft Brewers Guild annual beer festival, aboard the Battleship New Jersey on the Camden waterfront. Don’t go overboard on Jersey’s finest craft brews, including Heavyweight, JJ Bitting, Harvest Moon and Flying Fish. Taps open 1-5 p.m., $25, 856-966-1652, ext. 220.

Tomorrow: Iron Hill Brewers’ Reserve Night, featuring Magic Hat. Iron Hill’s Montco brewpub (1460 Bethlehem Pike, North Wales) hosts the quirky Vermont brewery, which brings along three of its limited-edition ales, including a sour Flemish ale aged in wine barrels with pomegranate, cherries and blueberries. Not to be outdone, Iron Hill’s brewers will break out their own favorites. Pay as you go, 267-708-2000.

Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of Westvleteren 8.

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YOURS TRULY is teaming up next week with chef Jim Coleman and Flying Fish Brewing for a barbecue dinner, and you’re invited.

Coleman, who flips burgers and creates cuisine at the Normandy Farm hospitality center in Montco, has put together an over-the-top outdoor menu. Forget the wieners, we’re talking Bali Shrimp and Seafood Mousse Sate with a Peanut Chile Sauce.

Meanwhile, Flying Fish beer chief Gene Muller is pairing each dish with one of his summertime favorites. That means fresh kegs of Farmhouse Summer Ale, XPA and other tasty brews.

And me? Hell, I’ll be gorging and guzzling, pal. See ya there.

Here are the details:

Coleman, Fish and Sixpack at Normandy Farms (Route 202 and Morris Road), 6:30 p.m. Wednesday. It’s casual buffet-style with no formal seating. Music by Eddie Bruce. $24.95, not including tax and gratuity, 215-616-8500.

Beer and barbecue go together like, well, beer and almost anything else. On the off chance that you can’t make it to our cookout, get a jump start on the grill this steamy weekend. Crack open a cold one and read on.

A sixpack of pointers

1. Keep the beer cooler at least 10 feet from your grill. No need to crowd the cook. Besides, you could use the exercise.
2. Go ahead, dunk those bottles in ice. Usually, I recommend against serving most beer at less than 40 degrees because those arctic temps diminish the flavor. But don’t worry, a hot Philadelphia summer afternoon will take the edge off that cold in about 10 minutes.
3. Use a timer while cooking. It’s amazing how easy it is to lose track of time after two bottles of IPA. A small, battery-operated digital timer costs less than 10 bucks at Fante’s.
4. Open the bottle before putting the meat on a hot grill. If your bottle opener isn’t already in your pocket, your chicken will burn before you find one in the junk drawer.
5. Use charcoal. Grill with gas and you may as well be cooking indoors. I’m sorry, this is not up for debate.
6. Use a digital thermometer probe with a temperature alarm. Even if you’re already toasted, you’ll never char another filet.

What to serve

Relax, it’s a barbecue. Don’t get too wound up on matching the correct beer with each dish. Nonetheless, here are a few pairings that work:

Red meat: A fruity, hoppy ale, like Sierra Nevada Pale Ale or Yards Philadelphia Pale Ale.

Sausage: German beer, of course. I like a refreshing wheat beer like Ayinger Brau Weisse this time of year, but a dunkel (Penn Dark) might stand up even better to the spices.

Fish: Dry, light beers like Victory Prima Pils and Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale.

Pork: A sweeter meat deserves a malty lager. Oktoberfest would be ideal, but it’s not on the shelf yet. Try Negra Modella or Troegs Bavarian Lager.

Chicken: Wash all that barbecue sauce down with a smooth, slightly sweet Newcastle Brown Ale or Saranac Black Forest.

Beer-butt chicken

This sounds like one of those stunts they came up with in the NASCAR parking lot, but it actually works.

Take one large whole chicken, remove all the gunk from its cavity and rinse it clean. Coat it liberally with your favorite barbecue rub (a combination of pepper, paprika, salt and sugar is a good start).

Open several holes in the top of a can of beer with a church key, drink one large gulp, then dump in half a handful of your rub. Try a flavored dark beer like Weyerbacher Heresey, an oak-aged imperial stout, or an absurdly hoppy ale like Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA. (What to do if your favorite beer doesn’t come in a can? Let your dog drink the Coors, then pour yours back into the empty can, Einstein. )

Take the can and get intimate with the bird. Shove the can firmly but gently into the cavity without spilling the brew. (Note: Make sure chicken is already dead. )

Balance the bird upright above hot coals. Cover the grill and leave it alone for at least 90 minutes – two hours if you can wait.

When it’s done, carefully lift the chicken off the grill so you don’t spill the freakin’ hot beer. DO NOT DRINK THE BEER!

You won’t have to carve the bird – the delicious, tender meat will just fall off the bone. Serve with the same type of beer you were cooking with.

Calendar

Tomorrow: Second annual Brew at the Zoo, Elmwood Park Zoo (1661 Harding Blvd., Norristown). Lions and tigers and beers, oh my! Featured will be 20 local brewers, plus food and live music. $35, proceeds benefit United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation. Taps open 6-10 p.m. 610-275-2775.

Tomorrow: 14th annual Great Eastern Microbrewery Festival at Stoudt’s Brewing (Route 272, Adamstown, Pa.). Guzzle varieties from more than 50 breweries, then graze at the Best of the Wurst buffet. $35. Taps open from noon-4 p.m. and 7-11 p.m. 717-484-4386.

Wednesday: Summer Beer dinner at the Drafting Room (900 N. Bethlehem Pike, Spring House). A three-course dinner matched with primo brews from Belgium, England and Germany. Heather Peterson from Merchant du Vin, the Seattle specialty beer importer, will be guest speaker. 6:30 p.m. $49.95. 215-646-6116.

June 18: Harrisburg Brewers Festival (Locust and 3rd streets, Harrisburg). Twenty-seven breweries, music and food served in our state capital. Just don’t stand between Gov. Ed Rendell and the buffet table. Taps open 4-8 p.m. $25 advance, $30 at the gate, benefits Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. 717-671-4000.

June 21: Beer and cheese tasting at Cork Restaurant (90 Haddon Ave., Westmont, N.J.). Flying Fish beers matched with small plates and imports from Severino Cheese Co. 6:30 p.m. $30. 856-833-9800.

June 21: Midsummer Seafood Feast at London Grill (23rd Street and Fairmount Avenue, Fairmount). Four courses and four beers from Victory Brewing. 8 p.m. $60. 215-978-4545.

Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of Oud Beersel Kriek. 

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NOT THAT we need grape-eaters to blaze our trails, but it’s looking like the U.S. Supreme Court’s pro-winery ruling last week could foam over into the beer world.

The court, in a 5-4 decision, ordered Michigan and New York to stop discriminating against out-of-state wineries in favor of their own because it’s a violation of interstate commerce rules. Though the court upheld the right of states to regulate booze, some experts believe the ruling is an opening shot at those arcane state regs that have controlled beer sales nationwide since the Prohibition.

And that’s good news – or bad news – depending on who’s holding the crystal ball.

The battleground here is the so-called “three-tier” system of distribution, which holds that brewers cannot distribute their products directly to consumers. It’s a vestige of the days when Al Capone and the Mob controlled liquor and cheated government out of its alcohol taxes. The middle tier – wholesale distributors – ensures those taxes are collected.

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Michigan and New York unfairly favored their in-state wineries by allowing them to sell directly to consumers. Some liquor industry people believe that opens the door to mail-order sales via the Internet.

States presumably could fix that by requiring everyone to go through a distributor (as New Jersey has), but let’s just pretend that won’t happen, if only because it would screw struggling local wineries, some of whom are already supported by the taxpayers.

First, about those mail-order sales.

Currently, Pennsylvania doesn’t allow breweries to send their beer through the mail.

But it does allow consumers to mail-order wine from in-state wineries. And it’s OK to buy wine from out of state over the Internet as long as the bottles are delivered first to a state liquor store. It’s a nice, if clunky, arrangement for wine fans.

Here’s my question: How is it not a violation of interstate commerce rules to prohibit, say, some California microbrewery from making a similar mail-order delivery deal in Pennsylvania? If it’s OK for wine, if it’s OK to buy a pinot grigio from Napa on the Internet, howcum I can’t click on Firestone Walker Brewing’s Web site and order a case of Double Barrel Ale?

But hold on – some small brewers aren’t so sure they’re ready for mail-order beer.

Dan Weirback of Weyerbacher Brewing in Easton noted that any brewer looking to get into Internet sales should be ready to face a gantlet of state fees for label registration. In Pennsylvania, it costs breweries $75 a year for every flavor, from pale ale to double bock; in New York, it’s $150. In Michigan, it costs $1,000 just to start doing business.

“The laws are so convoluted and every state is different,” Weirback said.

The brewers speak

Greg Koch of Stone Brewing in San Diego said in an e-mail exchange that, though he supports the idea, his brewery has no plans to get into direct shipping.

“Currently,” he wrote, “we are brewing 24/7 and not able to brew enough to meet demand, so additional ways to sell a few cases are not really on the radar for us . . . building our new brewery is. “

And Bill Covaleski of Victory Brewing in Downingtown doesn’t see much of a market for it, either.

“It makes no sense to package up a $26 case of beer and send it to Erie, Pa., or Wichita Falls, Kan.,” Covaleski said. “It’s a different story for a $140 case of wine. “

The issue, though, is not just about making it easier for wired beer fans to procure obscure flavors. The battle here is over that entire middle tier. As one Wisconsin microbrewer told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel last week, “If it becomes legal to ship beer, then it’s legal for Anheuser-Busch to ship [directly] to Wal-Mart. “

No surprise, beer wholesalers are unanimously freaked by the idea that breweries and consumers might someday bypass the middleman. Imagine spending all that dough to promote and sell someone else’s product (not to mention the thousands in licensing fees), only to have the high court declare your piece of the action null and void.

Most beer-drinkers, I suspect, aren’t going to shed many tears over the demise of wholesalers, not if deregulation means a 30-pack of Bud Light drops below 10 bucks.

But there’s some belief in the industry that this whole trend is bad news for small brewers.

For one thing, by licensing (and limiting) the number of beer wholesalers, the state levels the playing field between micros and megabrewers, giving them an equal shot at all consumers. Without those controls, a small brewer like Weyerbacher would find itself spit out of luck in the shelf space race at your neighborhood CVS.

Moreover, a good wholesaler is a craft brewer’s best friend. Victory or Stone don’t have Anheuser-Busch’s advertising dough, but they do have a sound network of distributors who market and retail their product.

“You can bet if my wholesaler in Minnesota is negated by the absence of three-tier system, I’m sure as hell not going to drive trucks out to Minneapolis and distribute beer myself,” Covaleski said. “Direct shipping from breweries is unnecessary and counterproductive. The distribution system is working. “

I’m not so sure change is all that bad, though.

Small brewers faced bigger challenges 20 years ago when they created an entire segment of the beer industry out of nothing. Today, there are too many consumers who enjoy craft beer.

Someone will sell it.

Beer radar

In my last column, I mentioned that Stone Brewing’s latest specialty beer, known as a “vertical epic,” is Belgian brown ale. Wrong.

I’ll let the brewery’s Greg Koch explain:

“Our Stone Vertical Epic Ales are ‘Belgian’ in the same way that our Stone Ruination IPA is ‘British. ‘ Yes, if you look past the cacophony of our love for loud beers, you can hear the musical roots of Belgium or England, respectively, but our beers are our own take on those countries’ traditions . . . especially if the word ‘take’ is thought of in the context of ‘taking liberties’!

“Yes, the Stone 05.05.05 Vertical Epic Ale is brown. Yes, we used a Belgian yeast strain. However, it is unquestionably as much or more a Stone beer [i.e., nontraditional] as it is a Belgian-styled beer. “

Meanwhile, the beer news at Weyerbacher is equally inspired. To mark its 10th anniversary this summer, Weyerbacher is releasing its biggest beer yet. It’s Decadence (get it?), an amber-colored strong ale flavored with honey, spices and an unnamed botanical ingredient. It’ll ring in at 13 percent alcohol when it’s released in July.

Joe Sixpack, by Staff Writer Don Russell, was written this week with a bottle of S’muttonator Doppelbock.

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YOU KNOW those mixed cases that stuff a bunch of different flavors in one big box?

This is one of those columns. You’ll find something in here

you’ll like; give the rest to a friend.

Among other things, Friday the Firkinteenth, the quirky keg fest at Grey Lodge Pub (6235 Frankford Ave., Mayfair), is a maddeningly crowded beer blast featuring the hardest-working bartenders in the city.

Crowded, because the event – held each Friday the 13th – draws beer freaks from all over the East for its one-of-a-kind beers served in small, still-fermenting casks that are tapped without carbon dioxide (gravity does the trick). Hardest-working, because these guys have to hoist more than a dozen kegs onto the bar, hammer the bung themselves, then wait till the beer slowly fills each glass.

Today’s version looks to be a bit less manic. It starts at 2 p.m., which may thin out the crowd throughout the evening. And it’ll overflow into the pub’s new second-floor dining room.

Here’s the deal, though: Even with the crowd, if you’ve never made it to Friday the Firkinteenth, you’re missing one of the best beer-drinking fests in America.

In just a few hours of elbow-bending, you can sample the finest beers made in the region, served at traditional cellar temps to bring out their best flavor. It’s loud, it’s fun, and I guarantee the spilled beer will wash out of your Levis.

The lineup of 16 or 17 kegs was not complete at press time, but here’s what they’ll be pouring:

Brewers Art Proletary Ale, Flying Fish Vanilla Ice, General Lafayette Belgian-style Spring Ale, Heavyweight Stickenjab Alt, Iron Hill oak-aged Oud Bruin, Lancaster Milk Stout, Legacy oak-aged Hedonism Ale, Middle Ages Black Heart Stout, Sly Fox Ahtanum IPA, Troegs Pale Ale, Victory Hop Devil, and others from Weyerbacher, Yards and Nodding Head.

It’s pay as you go for 7-ounce glasses, so you can give these ales a run for their money.

OK, maybe you’re one of those healthy types who actually enjoys stepping into the sunshine.

So, wait till tomorrow, when Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant (30 E. State St., Media) hosts the annual Brandywine Valley Craft Brewers Festival.

We’re talking beer from 25 local breweries, plus live music and food. And it’s all outside.

Tix are $30, with proceeds benefiting the Media Youth Center. Info, 610-627-9000.

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Speaking of variety cases, Sam Adams and Magic Hat are in town with summertime mixers.

Dig past the obligatory bottles of Sam Adams Light (why do they bother?) and reach for Summer Ale, a thirst-quencher flavored with something called Grains of Paradise spice.

I won’t ask what kind of spices the brewers at Magic Hat are using (or smoking) up in Vermont. Let’s just say their HIPA (Highly Hopped India Pale Ale), Hocus Pocus (a wheat beer) and Mystery Batch 370 are suspiciously delicious.

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Yet another Belgian-flavored beer bar is opening in town. Black Door (2nd and Bainbridge streets, South Street area) holds its grand opening today at 6 p.m. with half-priced drinks till 8 p.m.

The bar gets its name from Porte Noire, which was a classic beer haunt in Brussels for several years till it went Celtic some months back. Black Door promises a Belgian-heavy beer list of about 50 different bottles and five taps. Bar manager Charles Brodzinsci’s beer roots go back to Belgo, the Belgian bar chain in London and New York.

“Other than For Pete’s Sake and O’Neil’s, there’s really nothing else this end of town in the way of premium beer bars,” said owner Bill Schmidt, who runs Players Pub, a few doors down Bainbridge.

If we’re counting, though, that makes five Belgian bars in and around Center City: Bridgid’s (24th and Aspen, Fairmount); Monk’s (16th and Spruce, Center City); Eulogy (2nd & Chestnut, Old City) and Abbaye (3rd & Fairmount, Northern Liberties).

Not that I’m complaining, but how is it that a tiny country known mainly for, um, sprouts, has such a firm hold on Philly? After all, Center City has only one authentic German bar.

“Hey, the more the merrier,” said Monk’s Cafe owner Tom Peters. “Philadelphia is Brussels in America. “

Eulogy owner Michael Naessens added, “As a Belgian-American I’ve always said if there can be 5,000 Irish bars in Philadelphia, there should be room for at least a dozen Belgians. “

Indeed, Schmidt says his place is already a hit; he boasted he went through a keg of Chimay in just two nights after its soft opening last week.

And don’t worry about little Belgium supplying Philly with enough suds. It has about 120 breweries that produce about 500 different beers.

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Beer freaks condemned to life in Jersey don’t have to cross the Ben Franklin for a decent Belgian. Cork (90 Haddon Ave., Westmont, N.J.) pours a nice selection of 15 drafts, including the hard-to-find Lindemans Framboise. Mix the raspberry-flavored lambic with Hoegaarden and you’ve got yourself a Dirty Hoe.

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Sam Calagione, the creative genius behind Delaware’s Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, is out with a book on how he went from getting kicked out of prep school to operating the fastest-growing brewery in America at the age of 35. Though “Brewing Up a Business” (Wiley, $24.95) touches on Sam’s wide range of “off-centered ales for off-centered people,” this is more of a guide for energetic entrepreneurs, not us lazy beer-drinkers.

For Sam, Dogfish Head’s crazy publicity stunts and occasional scrapes with the law offer a chance for learning how to build a business.

A couple of years ago, for example, he was stopped by airport security in Philadelphia on the way to Chicago while carrying his infamous Randall the Enamel Animal. Randall, if you haven’t had the chance to meet him, is a 2-foot-long plastic contraption stuffed with fresh hops that’s designed to enhance the flavor and aroma of beer as it’s pulled from a keg.

The gun-toting security officers took one look at it and thought it was a bong stuffed with grass. Even the drug-sniffing dog was suspicious about the bag of sticky hop buds.

“Of the five people in the room,” Sam writes, “I definitely held the minority opinion on whether a full-scale cavity search was really necessary. “

Sam went into an impassioned speech on dry-hopping and “the need for more bitter beers in America. ” Eventually they waved him through, plastering Randall with Homeland Security stickers.

And Sam?

For him, the whole episode was just another opportunity to sway potential customers. “As craft brewers,” he writes, “we learn that educating people on the importance of fresh, quality ingredients isn’t always easy, but it really is important to do. “

You can meet Sam at 7 p.m. on Tuesday during a book-launching dinner at Monk’s Cafe. Call 215-545-7005 for info.

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I got my hopes up when I paged through the LCB’s latest list of registered malt beverages. Among the newbies: labels from Colorado’s New Belgium and Oregon’s Deschutes, two highly regarded breweries that haven’t crossed the Mississippi. Turns out they were registered only for last month’s Craft Beer conference.

“You’ll be the first to know,” New Belgium spokesman Brian Simpson told me when I asked when his brewery’s classic Biere de Mars would show up at my corner deli.

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Meanwhile, the shelves are still growing. Here’s new stuff: Russian River Sanctification, Reaper Ale Mortality Stout and Southampton Imperial Porter. Stone Brewing’s latest so-called “vertical epic,” a Belgian brown ale, should be in town by next week. The bottle is intended to be cellared for at least five years.

One of Philadelphia’s oldest brand names, Schmidt’s, moved out of town almost 20 years ago; it’s now produced in Milwaukee.

Locals who remember our One Beautiful Beer can take a sip down memory lane at Yards Brewery (2439 Amber St., Kensington) tomorrow when local beer historian Rich Wagner presents “The Rise and Fall of Schmidt’s of Philadelphia. ” His beer-flavored talk will start at 2 p.m. Info, 215-634-2600.

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