What you miss when you read the paper online
Somebody please set this to music:
Today we salute you, Over-Reacting PLCB Agent.
(Mr. Over-Reacting PLCB Agent)
Any state cop can chase speeders all day on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. But it takes real talent to conduct a raid on a bar over a clerical error.
(This is a bust!)
Packing heat and carrying a briefcase, you meticulously double-check beer labels and enforce all that red tape.
(Pliny the Younger? Book him!)
And even though you wouldn’t know a stout from a pilsner, you tirelessly uphold senseless laws from the 1930s, certain that you’re protecting the public welfare.
(Carry Nation lives!)
So crack open an ice-cold Jack Boot Beer, Over-Reacting PLCB Agent, because that’s the closest you’ll get to being a real policeman.
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