June 4th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
I enjoyed the bottle below last night while watching possibly the greatest TV show in the entire history of TV: “What the Heck Were They Thinking?” with Larry Holmes.
Seriously, you have to catch this show - 7:30 p.m. on Wednesdays on Channel 51 out of Allentown. The barely literate Easton Assassin, showing nominal affects of repeated blows to the head, is teamed with a guy named Mike Mittman, whose sole talent is the ability to read from note cards on his desk.
Everything about this show is entertaining, from the set (filled with Larry Holmes memorabilia, including a weird trophy that, thanks to camera positioning, looks like a crown atop the champ’s head) to the musical interludes (snippets of MOR jazz by Larry Holmes and Marmalade) to the commercials.
The content is completely random - basically the first 5 stories on Google News. On any given night, the two could be discussing Chinese investment in America, Susan Boyle, LeBron James, Obama, AIG… well, as Mittman says, “if it’s wild and whacky, happening around the world, and we catch ya doin’ something stupid, we’re going to ask the question, ‘What the heck were they thinking?’” Last night, while discussing the Air France crash, Holmes said that if he was aboard the jet in bad weather, he’d have told the pilot to turn around. Pause… then the two of them look directly into the camera and chorus, “What the heck were they thinking?”
Inevitably the talk gets around to how Hall of Famer Larry Holmes is the greatest world champion ever, which gives them a chance to replay some old video from an Ernie Shavers fight.
Here’s a clip from the intro - go check it out. But to do this show justice, you have to put your feet up, crack open a cold one and tune in for 30 minutes of pure TV gold.
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April 28th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
And not just because they continue to employ A-Rod.
New York Times wine writer Eric Asimov blasts the pinstripes for failing to pour anything remotely potable at their new stadium (9 bucks for a can of PBR). It’s a nice lede to a review of the wonders of American craft-brewed pilsners, which ranked these top 10.
- Victory Prima Pils
- Penn Kaiser Pils
- Troegs Sunshine Pils
- Brooklyn Pilsner
- Lakefront Klisch
- Lagunitas Pils
- Sly Fox Pikeland Pils
- Stoudt’s Pils
- Butte Creek Organic Pilsner
- Oskar Blues Mama’s Little Yella Pils
A couple weeks ago, I noted that Nos. 1, 3 & 7 are all on tap at CitzBank Ballpark.
Thanks to Richard Ruch or the heads-up on the NYT piece.
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April 25th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
I should be pissed - I’ve been talking about writing a kids book about beer for years. But Tom Robbins is practically my favorite author, so I’ll just have to suck it up and get my copy on Amazon.
You can read the first chapter over here.
“Mommie,” Gracie asked one afternoon. “What’s that stuff Daddy drinks?
“You mean coffee, sweetie?”
“Not coffee. Ick! That other stuff that’s yellow and looks like pee-pee.”
Hmmm… must be a story about Coors Light.
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April 14th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
Just about the saddest day of my life was the day that I had to take my dog to the vet for the last time. I think yesterday came kind of close when I learned Harry Kalas died just before a Phillies game.
I’d lost a friend.
Companionship - just as with my dog, it’s what Harry brought to my life. Countless hours of listening to him describe the only game that really matters. Not just the home runs, though that’s what we’ll always remember. But the plain, joyous monotony of balls and strikes, of extra innings that stretch into the night, of ground-outs and pitching changes, of a lazy fly ball falling into leather.
It was the comfort of familiarity.
I’m one of those people who would rather listen to a game on the radio than actually watch it on the tube. The long pauses between pitches that allow the mind’s eye to imagine the dirt on the cleats, the red pinstripes, the flash of a fastball. Hi-def shots of replays from multiple angles can never replace the visceral bond you feel with a game described by a fellow human being.
It’s somewhat fitting that - in his last full season - he finally got to tell the story of a World Championship. Years from now, it’ll be Harry’s voice that echoes through our mind as Brad Lidge throws that final strike. It’s not victory, however, that I cherish the most when I think of him. Maybe it’s the Philadelphian in me, but what I think about is all those years of utter failure, of listening when the Phils were 25 games out of first place in late September and the lineup featured the likes of Ricky Jordan and Chris James and Shane Rawley - guys you hardly remember. Winning, losing - it meant absolutely nothing on that Sunday afternoon. The Eagles were on TV, but I’d rather listen to the bittersweet sounds of boys playing a game in the lengthening shadows of autumn.
Richie: Say, Harry, did you hear that archeologists recently dug up the grave of Beethoven?
Harry (ever the straight man): Really? No, I didn’t hear.
Richie: Yes, and you wouldn’t believe it, when they opened the coffin, there he was - Beethoven - furiously erasing the notes from a sheet of music!
Harry (supressing a laugh): Slider, just misses the outside corner, 2 and 1… So, Whitey, Beethoven was erasing the notes?
Richie: That’s right -Â he was decomposing!
It is no understatement to say, “You had to be there.”
Last year on opening day, Andy Musser - the third of the Phillies’ best-known trio of announcers - took me to ballpark and introduced me to Harry. I shook his hand and mumbled how nice it was to meet him. Fact is, after 38 years of hearing his voice, I felt we were already friends.
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April 10th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
Reader Ed Riesch cautions I shouldn’t have been so quick to mock the dude who motorized his bar stool. Apparently, this is a big thing out on the Utah Salt Flats, where every September they have an actual bar stool race.
Top speed is 49.972 mph, set last year.
Unbelievable, especially considering that - unlike this one rigged with a Briggs & Stratton - these are powered only by a single 12-volt battery. Here’s the rules, in case you want to rig up your favorite seat:
 1. Must be constructed from a REAL BAR STOOL
2. 12 Volt DC Maximum Power (limited to ONE battery only)
3. MOTORS - Optional (limited to ONE single 12 volt motor)
4. STEERING - Required (keep it simple but safe)
5. BRAKES - Required, single-hand operated, external hand brake okay.
6. BODYWORK and FAIRINGS - Optional at builder discretion. There are TWO class records available. STREAMLINER class will have enclosed wheels and tires. LAKESTER class will have open wheels and tires. Other bodywork allowed in LAKESTER class.
7. TIRES - (4 required) Either pneumatic implement type tires and wheels or solid rubber tires and wheels. 10″ MAXIMUM height.
NO BILLET ALLOY TIRES ALLOWED.
8. 30″ MINIMUM seat height.
9. 23″ MAXIMUM overall wheel track width measured to outside of tires. In streamlined class bodywork can exceed this measurement. Minimum wheel track width 18″ measured to outside of tires. The wheels must be arranged in a rectangular configuration.
10. 21″ MAXIMUM wheelbase.
11. Competitors must wear full face helmet, gloves, long pants and jacket to cover arms. NO SHORTS AND TEE SHIRTS ALLOWED.
12. No Gearbox, or Mechanical Shifting Device.
13. Rider MUST sit on the seat. (Your Butt must be on the Seat!)
14. All riders in the Bar Stool Class must be age 18 or older to participate.
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February 16th, 2009 Joe Sixpack
The Philly Craft Beer Festival just announced it’s sold out both sessions - 3 full weeks before it opens! A reader alerts me that panicked buyers are are posting want-ads at Craigslist in search of extra tix.
Don’t worry - there are still tix left for the week’s four other major festivals (Opening Tap, Brewer’s Plate, Real Ale Invitational and Zythos America). Head over to Philly Beer Week’s web site now.
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December 31st, 2008 Joe Sixpack
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December 10th, 2008 Joe Sixpack
Seen at the Portland Holiday Ale Festival.
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November 5th, 2008 Joe Sixpack
Dark Horizon from Nogne-O. It’s dark and full-bodied, not too bitter, full of promise - a serious beer for serious times. Here’s to you, Mr. President.
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October 27th, 2008 Joe Sixpack
When people ask me why I think Philly is America’s Best Beer-Drinking City, I usually cite our local beer tradition, brewers and taverns. But one of the things that gives us a leg up is the excellent beer wholesalers who bring us all those great suds.
You know some of the names: Shangy’s in Emmaus, the world’s largest beer store. Stockertown Beverage and Bella Vista are bringing in lots of new American micros. Origlio Beverage has been doing a helluva job sorting out and marketing its massive craft portfolio. Penn Beer in Roxborough, who continues to widen its craft selection, is a great friend despite my constant jabs at its No. 1 product, Bud Light.
And then there is Gretz Beer in Norristown and Muller Inc. in the Far Northeast. Earlier this month, the National Beer Wholesalers Association named them as two of its 15 finalists in its second annual Craft Beer Distritributor of the Year awards, recognizing the distributor who does the most to market, promote and sell craft beer. (Click Wholesale Distributing of Seattle, Wash., won the award.)
Yeah, I realize this is inside baseball. And I know Pennsylvania’s byzantine beer laws are a hassle that often leave us frustrated at distributors. But every local beer drinker should know that we wouldn’t be enjoying all these great beers without these folks.
Congrats especially to Tom Buonanno of Muller and Jane Dempsey of Gretz, who deserve kudos for their behind-the-scenes work in promoting the beer culture in the city and suburbs.
By the way, unless I’m reading this list wrong, Philly is the only metropolitan area that can boast TWO finalists in the competition.
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