Category: Column

No Bud of mine: A-B’s heavy-handed tactics are hard to swallow

It is staring me in the face, this blasted bottle of Budweiser.

Thirty-two ounces in a caramel-brown bottle with a bright red label. The King of Friggin’ Beers, baby.

It’s been maybe 10 years since Bud last touched Joe Sixpack’s tongue.

But now, in the spirit of journalistic accuracy, I find myself on the brink of actually tasting this dreck … Read the rest

The suburbs haven’t reached brewpuberty yet

Cleaner streets, lower taxes, superior schools, more jobs, fewer psychopaths, greener grass, bigger malls, easier parking, safer neighborhoods — the suburbs can have it all.

Because the city has better beer.

And because we have better beer, we are superior in the one thing that really matters in life:

We have better taste.

I’ve felt this way for years, so … Read the rest

With nitrogen foam, it’s heads, you win

John the bartender was this lunatic who used to work at an old Center City tavern down on 15th Street. The bar was a grand oval, and at happy hour he worked it alone, like a one-man show on Broadway.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the guy, the way he performed. He’d stack his glasses in symmetrical rows, compulsively … Read the rest

Will microbrew biz flatten out in 1997?

But what if we run out here?

That’s the kind of nightmare that will wake you in a sweat-soaked fright, your throat parched with dread and your eyes spinning you dizzy with panic. No beer?

Sorry to begin the new year on such a downer, but that’s where all this pessimistic talk about the craft-brewing industry is leading. Some insiders … Read the rest

’96 a vintage year? Not in a beer column

To hell with doctor’s orders. I’ve been jabbed, probed and dosed, and they still can’t knock this flu. After three weeks of phlegmy coughs and other horrible bodily secretions – a period in which I faithfully avoided all malt refreshment – I’m plunging head-first into the Joe Sixpack Winter Blahs Treatment, certain to cure whatever ales you:

Take one bottle … Read the rest

State price controls skunk the consumers

Get ready to pay more for your beer, Pennsylvania.

The Legislature just revived an old law that almost certainly will jack up prices to fatten the wallets of beer wholesalers.

Wholesalers are the select middlemen who, under state law, “import” beer from brewers and re-sell it to retail distributors. Each has exclusive rights to brand names within geographic regions, so … Read the rest

The Khyber passes on

A good pub is like a good dog. Friendly and honest, it never fails to cheer you up or bring you back down to earth. And when it dies, don’t mourn its passing. Just remember the good times and go find another.

One of my favorites died a couple of weeks ago. Before  Joe Sixpack moves on to his next … Read the rest

Brewery buff has a thing for the past

You walk the streets of the old neighborhoods and sooner or later you start to hear the sounds of a city’s forgotten past. Buried like 300-year-old cobblestones ‘neath layers of asphalt, the ghosts are still alive . . . if you know how to listen.

In Fairmount, you hear the creaking of a wooden wagon wheel coming down Poplar Street. … Read the rest

Micro contractors spark big brewhaha

So it’s Sunday night and I’m trying to find an Eagles score on the tube when I hear possibly the worst news a guy could hear under any circumstances, but especially those circumstances under which, having just consumed, oh, about two dozen different brews at a local beer festival, that fella has assumed a face-down position on the couch of … Read the rest