Better beer through science

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The world’s greatest scientists are still fiddling around with cold fusion, they’re stumped on cancer and, dammit, when are we going to get those jet packs we were promised?

But booze?

The brainiacs are all over that.

So far this century, inventors have come up with a self-chilling beer can, a beer that tastes like rum, a tap that can pour a Guinness in 20 seconds and a plastic beer bottle that can be safety thrown at NFL referees.

The past couple of weeks have seen even greater strides in the cause of more efficient alcohol consumption. Namely:

* The Lime Bomber, a doohickey that shoots fruit wedges into a bottleneck. See www.limebomber.com for a goofy Flash demo.

* A high-tech glass that tells the bartender when it’s empty.

Reuters says the iGlassware is coated with a clear conducting material that measures the amount of suds remaining. It beeps the bartender when it’s empty. Coming next: The beer prod, which emits a 10,000-volt shock to wake up the bartender.

* A high-tech beer that knows where you are.

Realbeer.com reports Bud is selling a handful of cases containing a GPS transmitter. When the lucky can is cracked open, it emits a signal that allows corporate agents to track down the culprit, I mean, winner. The prize: free tickets to the World Cup.

Beerata

Two mistakes last time out.

First, the goat-loving brewer at Sly Fox is Brian O’Reilly, not Bill. The goat race is Sunday, by the way, at the brewpub at Pikeland Village Square on Route 113 in Phoenixville.

And Bud is not 4 percent alcohol. According to A-B’s Web site, it’s 4.9 percent by volume. Sorry ’bout that.

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